Nobody Cares; Pro Restaurant Reviewers are Obsolete; Abridged

The professional restaurant reviewer is as relevant to today's dining masses as the rotary phone is to the social lives of today's teens. When most of us decide to try a new restaurant, we typically rely on the recommendations of those close to us or online resources like Urban Spoon, Yelp and Google Reviews. We all have the opportunity to wade through the ocean of information and opinions offered by a multitude of fellow consumers in order to determine which food and beverage retailers will be the recipients of our hard earned dollars. The more consumer reviews available, the better. The diversity of those sharing their experiences allows for a much broader and more objective picture of what can be expected from one's visit to any given venue; thus rendering the traditional role of the professional food critic obsolete.

A few days ago, Melissa McCart, the new dining critic for the Pittsburgh Post Gazette, wrote what can only be loosely defined as a "story" about her visit to the Monterey Pub; a quaint and cozy little Irish themed pub in the Mexican War Streets section of Pittsburgh's north side. Had I no history with or connection to this establishment, I would have only read this piece of journalistic offal, one eyebrow raised in confusion and wonderment, and discarded it along with the rest of the day's trash. However, as the previous head chef at the pub (that's chef, not cook, Ms. McCart) and the wife of the bartender, that's the Pittsburgh City Paper's Best Bartender in Pittsburgh, I had to, most unfortunately, give it a second and third read and did so while in a state of utter amazement. Monterey Pub Visit by Melissa McCart.

Melissa McCart

I have since taken the time to reveiw some of Ms. McCart's other handy work and have done a bit of research into her career. Melissa McCart was a blogger from the Washington D.C. area who turned professional critic after somehow landing a job with Ft. Lauderdale's New Times. Her imminent arrival was skeptically announced on the Inside Ft. Lauderdale website in July 2011. The same website bade her goodbye and good riddance less than a year later in May of 2012. Melissa McCart is Gone. 

Ms. McCart's retelling of her visit to the pub is nothing if not lacking in relevant content and teeming with gossip, misinformation, thinly veiled insults, catty and snide remarks, unenlightened observations and unethical violations of the privacy of the pub's customers. My overall feeling about this so called story, which is really only a vehicle for the conveyance of eavesdropped private conversations, is that Melissa found herself alone at the bar in a popular neighborhood pub and feeling quite the outsider in a place where everybody really does know everybody else by name. And although I can guarantee that her service was friendly and efficient, it appears that she decided to paint a snarky portrait of the pub and the pub patrons; a warm and tight-knit group of friends and neighbors in which she was not and now, probably will not ever be included. If her goal was for everyone at the pub to know her name, well then- mission accomplished lady.

In her story, Ms. McCart refers to the neighborhood as stately and grand while sharing that she finds the pub to possess neither of those attributes. She refers to the customers and staff as all alike in that they are neither young nor old. She names names and shamelessly and carelessly shares tidbits of conversations in which she was not included or invited or given consent to repeat. She insults the menu, implying that it is pedestrian and not thoughtfully constructed, referring to only one section of the whole menu, not the section from which she ordered mind you, as "pseudo-novel".  Through such implications she further insults the customers, many of whom are real journalists by the way, in stating that this carb and meat heavy menu is suited to fit the pub's regulars. 

McCart goes on to proclaim that the pub is "NO gastropub" by her definition. This detail, in particular, is one I'd like to address. First of all, the term "gastropub" is one that is used by self-important and annoying foodie types who like to hear themselves talk about things they don't completely understand. Nobody in their right mind, in a proper neighborhood pub, in this down to earth city where she now resides, would want to be labeled a "gastropub". It is a pretentious and stupid word, the definition of which is subject to a wide variety of interpretation. One man's gastropub can easily be another man's dive.

 Ms. McCart also somehow determined that there couldn't possibly be a real chef in the pub kitchen. Let me correct that misconception for her as well. In the Monterey Pub kitchen is Chef Michael Crawford, formerly the chef and owner of Southwest Bistro, which was located on 6th Avenue in downtown Pittsburgh. Not only is Chef Crawford a "real chef", he's an award winning chef with extensive and impressive credentials and experience. 

Clearly and unfortunately for her, Ms. McCart doesn't "get" the pub. That being the case, she probably doesn't "get" Pittsburgh either. The Monterey Pub is a great representation of the people and the spirit of our city. It is an unpretentious, charming and comfortable environment that welcomes all alike; young, old, black, white, gay, straight, strangers and familiars. Based on her body of work, my opinion is that our newest dining critic is far from qualified to offer an informed, objective and insightful review for purposes of "educating" Pittsburgh's dining public. 

There are, without a doubt, more qualified and far more talented people in the immediate area who would do a vastly better job as the PG's dining critic, however obsolete a job it may be. I can immediately think of 100 people who are more intellectually and technically prepared to fill this position. Hell, I know a couple of fifth graders who would have written a more informative and content rich story about the pub than this pile of dung that somehow made it past editing.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding the intent. Maybe Ms. McCart meant for this to read like a gossip column. I can't say for sure. I can only suppose that the pub isn't quite up to the high falutin' standards and greatly refined palate of one Melissa McCart. Get a look at the picture folks. If you see Ms. McCart sitting next to you the when she's out on the town, by herself, enjoying an Irish pint and a couple of chicken wings, be sure to keep your voices down.